Four times a year, every relationship is tested to snapping point by gift selections for our significant others. On his birthday, when your anniversary comes around, on Valentine's day, and at Christmas. This is because, on each of these occasions, custom and practice demand tangible evidence of our undying affection.
The emotional arc of a relationship is uncannily similar to the emotional arc of the Disneyland ride, Tower of Terror. At the start, you feel lifted steadily heavenward, giddy with anticipation. Inevitably you endure several free-fall plunges, through life's sudden pockets of turbulence. Each disturbance leaving you feeling like you've just undergone ice-water colonic irrigation you didn't sign up for.
Yet, even during turbulent times, we somehow keep our relationships moving forward. We lean on each other for comfort. We grip each other tighter than Sumo wrestlers during a grudge match. Our noses squidge so close together that when he whispers, 'Don't worry, darling, I'm right here,' he sounds like Donald Duck. Through such mutual support, we feel that, together, our relationships could survive anything.
Well, almost anything. Because what no relationship can survive is an ill-chosen gift.
Picking the wrong gift, however well-intentioned, risks driving your Mr. Sulky to spend his nights sleeping on the couch. While his days are spent mooching about the garage pretending to tinker with the lawnmower while he actively ignores you like a three-year-old denied a Tootsie Roll before breakfast. So if you're thinking about randomly selecting something from the remainder bin at Walmart while you're picking up a gallon of milk, think again.
Let’s face it, selecting a gift that will consolidate your relationship — as opposed to causing it to crumble to dust — is imperative. So here's some important advice ahead of your next impending gift purchase.
Tricky if your man is squirrelly about his age. Has he taken to wearing leather trousers, sweeping the sad, wispy remnants of his hair across the top of his balding dome, or driving around in an open-topped sport's car? It might be a midlife crisis. If so, strike L'Oreal Paris Magic Root Cover Up Gray Concealer off your gift list straight away. Such a reminder of his mortality is unlikely to be appreciated in his delicate frame of mind. It may set your relationship back for a decade.
The track you remember as 'our song' may not be the 'our song,' he recalls. So if you're thinking about a CD, think again. Because your Celine Dion might be his Boxcar Willie. Or vice versa. It’s not worth the risk.
Valentine's Day gifts
On this frivolous February occasion, plumping for the wrong gift may prove as hazardous as going over Niagara Falls in an empty herring barrel. Even the messages in your Valentine's card could break a delicate bond. You may opt for the 'soppy' (I love you from here until way over there, and then some, honey-bucket!). Or the cringeworthy, ('You'll be getting some of this for Valentine's!' on the face of the card with an eye-brow curling selfie tucked inside). Either way, the risk of getting it wrong remains high.
There are many things to feel joyous about at Christmas. The snow-muffled voices of the carol singers, the jingle of sleigh bells, the head-swirling aroma of mulled wine. Notice that Christmas shopping isn't on the list.
Left until Christmas Eve, Christmas shopping for the perfect gift can become as achievable as making a 50-yard dash into the Dallas Cowboy's end zone in heels and a pencil skirt. Sure, you'll eventually reach the Cosmetics for Men counter, but simply to find the only cologne they have left is called Jock Plus retailing at $10 a quart.
The point is that gift shopping at these traditional times is as fraught with danger as swimming across a crocodile-infested swamp. So, why not take the risk-free option? Buy him a Twenty Anson monogrammed cotton dress shirt with French cuffs. It's a tactic that can't fail.
I hear you thinking, ‘Why a Twenty Anson cotton shirt? Won’t any cotton shirt do? Absolutely not!
For a start, the packaging on a Twenty Anson shirt is so elegant and luxurious that you really need to visit their site to see just how luxurious with your own eyes. Put it this way: If Cleopatra had chosen a gift for Mark Anthony based on best-in-class packaging, it would have been a Twenty Anson monogrammed shirt. And the cuffs with his name would have been a constant reminder to Mark that the Queen of the Nile was his main squeeze.
But it isn’t just the packaging that makes the gifting of a Twenty Anson shirt a no-brainer at any time of year. It’s the sumptuous feel of the product. Close your eyes and imagine you’re laying on a bed of rose petals. That’s what it feels like to wear a Twenty Anson cotton shirt.
The high-end fabric makes this shirt very absorbent, breathable, comfortable to wear, and wrinkle-resistant. The unique process the cotton is put through increases the strength, smoothness and durability of the fabric. The end result is quite simply a shirt specially crafted to feel as gorgeous against his skin as you do! Won’t that take some beating?
Every time he sees the cuff, he will remember you and miss you. You can monogram his name or initial on the cuff. It also comes with two customised alphabet cufflinks of your choice.
The luxury French cuff version retails at only $79, a good deal for Christmas gift. There are also many versions and fabric to choose from, starting at $29. It's a unique gift for the man in your life, whatever the occasion. Don’t take a risk — opt for Twenty Anson now and save your relationship!